The Double Opt-In
The only acceptable way to make or request an introduction in a professional setting.
The Prime Directive of Networking
A "double opt-in" introduction means that both parties have explicitly agreed to be introduced before any contact information is shared or any group email is created.
It sounds simple, but violating this rule is the fastest way to burn social capital with influential people.
The Golden Rule
Never give out someone's email address without asking them first. Never CC two people who don't know each other without prior consent from both.
Why The Surprise CC is Toxic
Imagine you are a busy executive, investor, or sought-after expert. Your inbox is a carefully managed triage zone. Suddenly, an email arrives:
To: [email protected], [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Intro!
"Hey ImportantPerson, meet Hustler! Hustler is doing some cool stuff and I thought you two should connect. I'll let you take it from here!"
This is a Surprise CC (or blind intro). Here is exactly what happens next in ImportantPerson's brain:
- Confusion: Who is Hustler? Why should I care?
- Obligation: I am now forced to reply so I don't look like a jerk to CluelessFriend.
- Resentment: CluelessFriend just assigned me homework without my permission.
ImportantPerson will likely send a polite, non-committal reply to Hustler, and then quietly decide never to do a favor for CluelessFriend ever again.
The Mechanics of the Double Opt-In
Here is how the transaction should actually work. Let's say Party A wants to meet Party B, and the Broker knows both.
| Step | Action | Why it matters |
|---|---|---|
| 1. The Ask | Party A sends the Broker a forwardable email asking for the intro. | Provides the Broker with the exact context needed. |
| 2. The Pass | Broker forwards the email to Party B: "Hey B, see below. Happy to intro if useful, no worries if you're too busy." | Gives Party B a guilt-free out. Protects the Broker's relationship with B. |
| 3. The Opt-In | Party B replies to the Broker: "Sure, happy to chat with them." | Consent is explicitly granted. |
| 4. The Intro | Broker replies to Party A, adding Party B to the CC: "A, meet B..." | The connection is made with high intent and zero friction. |
What If They Say No?
If Party B says, "Actually, I'm swamped right now and this isn't a fit," the Broker replies to Party A: "Hey A, checked with B but they are head down on a launch right now and can't connect. Let's try again in a few months."
This is a successful outcome.
Party A gets a clear answer. The Broker protected Party B's time. Party B is grateful to the Broker. Social capital is preserved.
Next Steps
The Double Opt-In relies entirely on Party A providing a clean, easy-to-read request. Learn how to write one in the next guide.
READ: THE FORWARDABLE EMAIL →